Because March was directionless and I want to be going in a direction

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I’m doing a thing!

I created a writing map of sorts.

I’m calling it a map because I need direction for my writing dreams and goals. March was…directionless. The first three months of 2024 have been really. I ache to write and create and tell stories—fiction and true. It’s an ache that lives inside of me. Nestled in my heart, in my bones, in my blood.

And yet…I just feel like I’ve been fielding life.

I told this to my counselor maybe about halfway through our year-ish time together. That every couple weeks I went, I would bring up what happened since we’d last seen each other and I just felt like I was fielding things as they came up instead of really solidifying a foundation to field all the things things.

And the feeling has cropped back up again, but I really only was able to put it into words a couple nights ago during my writing group’s (shoutout to Quill & Cup!) Monthly Goal Review for March. The words “directionless” and “wandering” and “fielding” all came up when I shared about how March went.

Don’t get me wrong—there were good and beautiful things. We rang in the New Year with our people, playing Wii bowling and golfing. I’ve written a handful of flash fiction magic stories. I switched my email newsletter over to Substack’s private mode, so it actually functions as an email newsletter and not a second blog. I’ve taken tiny steps in figuring out and getting to know my main character, Leah. I presented a workshop for my writer’s group virtual retreat back at the end of January. We finally got Ant’s insurance figured out and at the beginning of March I finally started seeing the new doctor I picked out. We’re figuring out Moochy’s health; the old lady will 14 years old this July (unofficially of course) and she may be showing some signs of kidney issues—we’re switching her diet very soon, like April 1^st soon. Ant and I finally donated/dumped/put away all the things we have (mainly me) been storing behind the couch and the space feels so good! I’m getting pictures and videos off my camera roll and Ant’s too. (Just in time for us to get new phones haha as our 8s are now five years old.)

Beautiful life things, that have moved the needle on beautiful life things.

But writing…has fallen flat lately.

I’ve been wanting to focus on freelance writing for a long time now. I thought it would take off in the form of copywriting after I left my office job at the end of November 2021. But it has not. Don’t get me wrong—well written copy is a thing of beauty. Lately, I’ve been gravitating toward pitching more essays and articles to online spaces. (This is just called freelance writing.) The resources and humans I’ve come across on the internet—I like the material they put, the voice they write and/or speak in, and how they’re realistic yet hopeful about freelance writing providing an income.

The money we’re blessed to have in savings—Ant and I are ready to use it for a down payment on a house. We love our landlord-friends and we’re very thankful for the Hobbit Hole. (It came at a time when we needed it most. We’ve been here almost 5½ years.)

But I can’t moan and groan and wish our financial situation to be better if I continue to stay at the daycare and dream about writing.

It’s time to get my butt in gear, to make these dreams a reality. We’re in a place where it’s still doable for me to work part-time and establish the foundation of this freelance writing life—timewise and income-wise. I’ve gotta try this while I have the openness and schedule I have now. I want to give this a solid go.

And so…*drum roll*…I’ve created a writing map.

I split my year up into the seasons and I write myself letters to read and review at the end of each season. My writing community does Monthly Goal Reviews and I love them, but too many goal reviews is overwhelming. So, you now, one month into Spring and I’ve come up with a way to merge the practice of the monthly goal review and the seasonal goal letter.

I’ve spent the week brainstorming about my freelancing, writing my novel, and wellness goals. I’m doing a lot of little things in wellness thanks to this unofficially-officially being mine and Ant’s year of just being healthy and exercising. And then I have a lot of dreams and ideas filling up freelancing and novel writing. So, I wrote down my Ideal Week and slotted freelance writing times and novel writing times around daycare shifts, spending Mondays with the fam, exercise on Tuesday evenings, weekly walks, Devo nights, Bible Study, etc.

I’ve done this 4875458249 times before. I always hold these things too tight. And as soon as I allow myself grace for health (it’s allergy-and-the-season-of-weird-sleep season) or give myself a couch potato day, my brain or my heart or something calls it a failure and I stop trying. (Typically less than a week in.)

But this time feels different.

This time I have the hedgies, what we lovingly call our writing members in Quill & Cup. (Because our mascot is a hedgehog and so it’s “hedgie” for short.) This writing group encourages the health and rest and productivity and cup-filling of the whole human and not “just” the writer. I’ve only been a member for six months, but I have learned so much from all of them—the humans I write with regularly and the ones I only interact with in the chat. And a lot of the information and knowledge shared feels like common sense. It’s just presented in a way that…makes sense. I can see the practical application of whatever “it” is—rest, cup-filling activities, using a planner, attending prickles (what we call our write-ins because a group of hedgies is called, you guessed it, a prickle :)). We have a channel in the slack called “Wellness Wonder” and while we do talk about writing in that channel (because we’re writers), the conversations mostly focus on self-care and movement and other areas of our life that involve wellness (not just for feeling like we’re making progress in writing or in exercise routines), but in purging and making phone calls and surviving home renos and travel and…literally anything that impacts our well-being.

And so, in creating my Ideal Week at my desk in my new goals journal, I came up with a plan. A map. And I’m calling it a map because March was directionless, and I want to be going in a direction.

The Goals

Starting week of Monday, 4/1/24

Freelance writing about 7.5 hours per week

• There’s a total of 8 weeks in Amber Petty’s Freelance Writing for Creative Course and I’ve like 90% completed Week 1’s assignment. There’s nine weeks still to go in Spring. I’m taking it as a sign.

Leah Novel

• Roughly 2 hours per week to figure out my characters and/or return to drafting.
• It’s not very much, but it’s more than I’ve done since NaNoWriMo last November, and freelancing is the main goal. And who knows, if this works—maybe I’ll find that more time can be added to the Leah Novel.

Wellness

• 1-3 walks per week // one with my friend Jody, one with my dog friend Mina, and one with Ant.
• Knee stretches once a week // Ideally I’ll be at three sessions a week, but I’m starting with one and trying to maintain that weekly consistency.

These goals all have approximate times and days of the week attached to them, but if we made plans on a Tuesday evening when we typically exercise, it can be moved to Wednesday before Bible Study, Thursday or Friday evening, or even Saturday if we felt like it.

A map. Enough to challenge and push me out of my comfort zone. But not enough to create failure from the start.

The writing times for freelancing—the morning times have me starting at like 9am or 10am depending on the day. That’s enough time to wake up, take care of the cats, eat breakfast, and ease into my day with Bible reading and/or the Bible study my sister and I are working through together.

Again, a map. It works with my current routine of waking and getting up between 6:30 and 7am. It’s just challenging enough.

I just want to stick with something long enough to see if it works. To see which parts work, which parts need to be tweaked, what needs to be rethought completely. So here we are with nine weeks still to go in Spring. I’m going to see what I can do with them.

Will You Join Me?

And I’m going to bring you along with me.

Mostly for my sake because I am a whimsical human easily distracted by a good book, a TV series (currently Bosh, Farmer Wants a Wife, and Not Dead Yet), and the sunshine. So, to the best of my ability I’ll write about how I’m progressing here on this blog, in my corner of the internets.

I’m excited for this and I’m feeling up for the challenge. I’m looking forward to the progress that I’ll make, what I’ll be learning each week, and to look back at the end of Spring and see how far I’ve come.

But I’m not doing this solo. I have the hedgies support when and if I need it, the community alone—to write with others is worth the price itself—everything else is bonus. I have Ant’s unending support. And I have my usual support network of family and friends.

And I’ve got God. I’m giving this all to him. He’s my leader, the one I believe and trust in. I’m  just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I’m starting next week! Actually, I’ll be home Monday, so I’ll have a bonus day to implement some of this and give myself a good strong start.

But first—family time tonight, the Pacific Ocean tomorrow, and Easter with the fam on Sunday. Here’s to a great weekend *cheers*

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What are some dreams you’ve been dreaming for a long time? Are you avoiding anything? How do you turn those dreams into actionable steps to make them come true?

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As always, I’m excited to have you along for the ride! Feel free to comment and/or email me if you want to chat about anything—writing, Quill and Cup and the hedgies, trying new things, anything.

Happy Easter weekend friends!

Love,

Tracy

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Resources mentioned in this letter:

• Quill and Cup // My writing community
• Amber Petty // Freelance writer and teacher
• Creating Character Arcs by K.M. Weiland // Craft book I’m using for character work

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Writing Process Notes:

3/28/24

// 5:31pm-5:42pm. In the pink chair while Ant watches a funny Rocket League video before we head to Jody’s. Current word count: 398.

// 10:34pm-. At my writing desk. Hobbit Hole quiet and Ant’s keyboard too. WC this session: 1,586 / Total WC so far: 1,984

3/29/24

// 4:51pm-.5:58pm Dining room table on a prickle with Chelz and Catie. Posted here on the blog. Also started a doodle logo for this blog series. Draft 2 WC total: 1,850.

// 10:37pm-10:45pm. Writing desk, added pictures and posting!